Metaphors are Wonderful

I've been doing a lot of soul searching and freaking out lately - flipping from one to the other. I've allowed myself to pack up and prepare for another move in my life when I never gave where I am a fair shot. Metaphors are wonderful things.

Well, it's about time I strap on my big girl boots and wade through the muck I've created. I'm reminded of the story of two boys placed in separate rooms full of poop. One boy whined and cried and complained. The other happily shoveled and even showed a passion for it - determined to find the pony that had produced it all.

I need to pick up my shovel. 

I've floated through my life without direction, looking for someone to take the wheel and guide the ship along the best course. I failed to acknowledge that I should be my own captain. I also failed to accept the fact that I keep dropping and lifting my own anchor, usually at the worst possible times.

Someone I knew told me about how sailors will tack around a storm, side-step the trouble, and take the easier, safer route. Well, sometimes in life you simply need to stay the course. It may not be the easiest way, but you can't give up simply because the waters got a little rough.

I have also neglected my companion through life. No, I haven't ignored him. In fact, I've smothered him instead - expecting him to take control of the wheel, man the sails, raise/lower anchor, and do all the upkeep. Well, he is still here for me and I certainly hope he always will be, but it's my ship... my life. I need to take the responsibility for it. He will help me, warn me, guide me at times, but I'm the one that needs to take control of my own ship.

I can't continue running away when things get rough. I can't give up when I'm faced with difficulty. 

I like to say that I'm a survivor of all the problems I've faced in life, but when I take a step back and take a good, hard look at it... I see that I've only survived parts. Other parts I still allow myself to fall victim to. And that has to stop.

So, I'm not making my lists any more. I'm not talking about what needs to be done. I'm not curling up and waiting for people to come to my door to hand me anything.

I'm taking steps. I'm grabbing the wheel and turning into the wind. My journey has only just begun and I invite you to join me.

This is a new day, a new time... my time.