Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Obstacle Course: The Mine Field

In our obstacle courses, we often come across people who act like mine fields to us. Toxic people want to destroy your happiness and cause as much disruption and devistation as possible. You know the warning signs, but sometimes you miss them and things explode in your face.

How can you possibly avoid this obstacle in life? I don't think you can ever fully avoid coming across this obstacle, but you can minimize the damage. Some of these mine fields come up unexpected and aren't even marked well. There are basically three types of minefields that you'll come accross.

First: Family and friends... people you know. When you know someone is clearly toxic with an explosive personality or someone who loves to stir up extra drama, it can be very difficult. Especially when they're related to you. You may feel preasure to keep them from guilt of family bonds.

Second: There will sometimes be people in your life that you just can't remove completely for some reason. It may be a parent or caregiver or even someone who relies on you for care. While you may be able to eventually work even these negative influences from your life, some situations may be beyond your control.

Third: These are the people who you encounter for short periods of time. They are hard to avoid because you didn't plan on encountering them.

Remove the toxic people from your life. You don't need them. I know this can be hard if they are family, but if they are toxic... they're toxic. You don't need toxic in your life. You need love, support, and encouragement. People will blow up for no reason and create chaos for you to clean up. If someone is dragging you down, don't have anything to do with them. Or at the very least, limit how much you deal with them.

Then... in those times when you simply can't avoid these people, remember that they are responsible for themselves and you can only control your reaction to them. Look for the signs, make your own bomb detector for the people who don't have their minefield marked, and when something explodes, mark it to stay clear next time.

When you minimize the toxic people and learn how to identify them, you will find that your life will be much happier and you will enjoy a freedom you couldn't possibly experience when walking among the mine fields.


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